Tuesday, Jul. 30, 2002 + 11:35 a.m.
 .I�m actually happy to be at work today. No panthers here. I know I sound like a dog with a bone, but come on��. First the city had a runaway cow. Now at least a cow is a safe animal for your kids to run into. Well, as long as the cow isn�t running full speed down the sidewalk, I think the kids are probably going to be OK if they see it, but a panther? Not the same AT ALL. At some point there was also an alligator. Somehow I missed the stories about him, though. Or I guess it could have been a she-alligator?. What is WITH all the animals? NEWS FROM THE FRONT The latest report said that a lady in a neighborhood (4 neighborhoods away from me) happened to look out her front window and had to do a double-take after seeing a HUGE black animal lying ON TOP OF HER CAR!!! She remarked that the animal was so large that it ran the length of the car. She called a neighbor and asked for them to look out the window just in case she was ON ACID or something and the neighbor confirmed that �yes, it looks like a black panther.� The animal,�� not a member of the political group. So far, there are only 3 witnesses who have identified seeing a LARGE BLACK PANTHER roaming the neighborhood. Apparently, the police and SPCA are not on an out-and-out HUNT for the beast since it doesn�t appear to be causing any trouble???? What exactly are they waiting for? The newspaper said that no one had reported a panther missing. I�ll bet they didn�t! Tomorrow�s newspaper headlines, �Toddler�s Brush with Death Averted by Alert Mom With Dart Gun�. I�m going to the sporting goods store right now. --------------------------------------------------------------- The way this crazy city works, I half-expect BIG KITTY to be listed in the newspaper tomorrow as �Pet of the week�. MEOW.
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I am the Grim Reaper! Master of all that is |
