Thursday, Aug. 07, 2003 + 10:10 a.m.
I finally quit my job to spend more time with the kiddies and enjoy a nice summer and it rains four out of five days a week. How am I supposed to get a TAN with all this RAIN? Aaaaaaaand our lovely little city has decided to do some construction on my street which continually blocks me in my driveway or in the few cases when I�m lucky enough to NOT be blocked in, I get onto the street only to be blocked on both ends by a concrete truck on one end and a bulldozer on the other. Jeez! When the rain starts up, the construction people disappear for a while and then return and have to bail water out of pits before continuing. At this rate I�m thinking they should complete the street by mid-November. One good thing about the rain, however�..is that I keep praying that my (dead) neighbor�s (equally dead) tree will fall on my shitty little white trash garage and kill everything in it. My husband is not IN the garage, but would be crushed nonetheless because, you see, he has this �classic� car in the garage. It is a baby blue 1964 1/2 Ford Mustang. Sounds devastating, doesn�t it? Did I mention that this car is in pieces. I call it a �carcass�. R got it when he was about 16 (many, many years ago) and drove it around town in all his 16-year-old glory. Then he decided he wanted to completely restore it to its proper 1964 1/2 beauty. Why do 16-year-old�s have thoughts like that? Maybe because he was smoking waaaaaaay too much pot that day. The car has been in pieces since then. His mother made him move the pieces from her YARD (where it resided for 8 years) to our single-car garage 9 years ago where it has remained UNTOUCHED and blocking all access to whatever else may have been in the garage at one time. This has caused me to have to replace lots of things that I would like to get to in the garage, but can�t. Like��.my snow shovels, plant pots, weed killer, rakes, winter salt, bicycles, baby pool, etc. These things I have had to replace (and therefore now have 2 of) have to be stored somewhere else because I can�t get into the friggin� garage. I just keeping hoping that I�ll hear the lightning CRACK and CRASH and the garage and carcass will be history. Then my dead neighbor�s up-to-date insurance policy will cover all the damages, build us a beautiful new garage and cover the cost of the carcass (which my husband says is worth millions � yeah, in exactly what dimension?) and order will be restored in the house of Platypus. It could happen. Please tell me it could happen.
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I am the Grim Reaper! Master of all that is |
