From The Island Of Misfit Toys

What is a FUDGE-EYE-TUH????

Monday, Jul. 26, 2004 + 4:21 a.m.

About a week ago we’re at the local Mexican restaurant getting ready to order dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary. And my son decides to consider trying something new.

You have to understand that this NEVER happens. This child will only eat like 5 things on earth that are not sugar or chip-related.

So, needless to say, I was thrilled beyond belief. At almost 9 years old, it’s amazing to me that he grows at all. I’m thinking, “Bring it on!”

We were all looking over our menus, eating chips and salsa and enjoying conversation.

And that’s when he asked the question.

It wasn’t the question itself. Well, actually it was, but it was mostly the VOLUME that was so disturbing in the presence of several full tables of other diners.

“MOM, WHAT IS A FUDGE-EYE-TUH (phonetic spelling) ANYWAY???"

In unison, my husband and I both shushed him loudly.

My husband looks at me and whispers, “Did he just ask what a vagina is?”

“I think so,” I squeaked.

“What made you ask that, Sweetie?” I asked my son.

“It’s here on the menu, Mom, under Appetizers”, he answered.

My husband and I exchanged looks. Since when were vaginas an APPETIZER as opposed to a full-fledged meal??? And WHY was my son thinking about ordering one?

Luckily he showed me the menu and I breathed a sigh of relief.

It was a fajita. A flaming, juicy, do-it-yourself soft taco, which also should have been listed as an entrée.

Might as well have been a vagina.

He ordered the chicken nuggets.

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