Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003 + 3:39 p.m.
It could be really therapeutic. Maybe later. But now, I have some things to COMPLAIN about: Yesterday I was EXHAUSTED. Usually on a Monday I�d be feeling relaxed and rested from the weekend, but since my husband has been traveling for two and a half weeks, I�ve barely had any kind of rest. If this is what it feels like to be a single mother � NO THANK YOU. He arrived home on Friday night, but all weekend we were busy and even had to prepare for a big surprise birthday party which we attended during most of Sunday. Needless to say, by yesterday, I was ready for a vacation. My day began by waking up an hour before I could have because one of the kids I watch during the day didn�t show up for his normal 6:30 a.m. arrival. He showed up two and a half hours later with NO PHONE CALL or anything. BUMMER. This is not the first time this has happened. And not a good start to my already exhausted Monday morning. The only thing that kept me going besides the thunder and lightning was about 4 gallons of coffee. But eventually my day was over. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. Kids all gone (except mine) and dinner was finished, dishes done, house clean (sort of). At 7 p.m. I put on my pajamas and laid on the couch with a blankie to drift off while watching some sort of trash on TV. I fell into a DEEEEP sleep quickly, but was soon JARRED AWAKE by the phone. I ignored it and listened to see who was on the answering machine before answering. No one left a message, so I went back to sleep � NO PROBLEM���until��.3 minutes later�.. The phone rings AGAIN. Once again - NO message. This time I know who it is. You see�.THIS is my father�s calling card. He�ll call us and if we�re busy or sleeping or simply unable to come to the phone, we don�t answer unless it�s convenient. Instead of doing what a normal person would do, which in my opinion, is leaving a message for us to call him back (unless of course we pick up if it�s some kind of emergency or whatever). He doesn�t do this. He just calls right back. Sometimes he only waits three or four seconds before calling back. Sometimes he�ll call three or four times. This is REALLY ANNOYING. Even though the man is EXTREMELY LONG WINDED it�s not as if we just don�t want to talk to him. If it was convenient we would. But since we didn�t answer the phone��it WASN�T convenient to talk right now. You also have to bear in mind the urgency of his calls. Most of the time he�s calling to tell us something that he doesn�t want to forget. This may be a movie he just rented and thinks we�ll like or a request for computer help from my husband or some recipe he just created out of cardboard and cans of peaches and thinks we�ll like. Yum. Instead of writing it down so he doesn�t forget to tell us later or emailing us a thought or whatever, he calls and calls and CALLS. If he gets us on the first try, I guess we�re lucky, because if not, he will call relentlessly on our house and cell phones until he does get us. On the few occasions when we actually are out of the house and at the movies or a funeral or some other place where the cell phones will be turned off, we will sometimes come home to find 6 or 7 calls from him on caller ID, but rarely ever a message. If he does leave a message, he sounds annoyed as if we�re inconveniencing him by not being home to take his call. AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The email manners are something else, but equally exasperating. He likes to think that he and I have the same sense of humor. We do NOT. Sometimes, I�ll give the obligatory chuckle when he tells a joke or story, but most of the time, he�s so over the top and takes so long to get the friggin� story across that I lose interest or find that one of my kids needs my attention or something. I don�t have ten minutes to listen to a goddamned joke from ANYONE. But when it�s from him, I know that 9 times out of 10, I won�t be amused when he FINALLY gets to the punch anyway. But we were talking about email. He likes to email me stories and jokes and sweet little CRAP that he finds amusing. It�s not as if he only sends things to me, either. It appears that he sends everything he likes (which is A LOT) to everyone in his address book. This drives me INSANE!!!!!! But not as insane as the fact that as soon as he sends me something he thinks is funny, he follows it up with a FUCKING PHONE CALL to be sure I got it!!!!!!!!!! And to DISCUSS it!!!!!! If I�m in the middle of wiping someone�s ass or chasing a dog with a Barbie in it�s mouth, I can�t answer the phone and once again we�re off on that routine again. Oh, God, when will it ever end???? By the way, I�ve tried addressing these issues a few times and it ALWAYS turns UGLY. He doesn�t accept any sort of criticism from me AT ALL. And if I try another way (being VERY nice or even sometimes in a joking way) it doesn�t go well either. This is because I am his daughter And after all, I�m ONLY 37-years-old and can�t possibly have a valid reason for not answering the phone. My girlfriend tells me that it won�t end until one of us dies. That is just so WRONG, but unfortunately true. No, I�m not going to commit murder. Today. P.S. � Dad, if you ever find this diary, I DO LOVE YOU, but you are completely insane. Just leave a fucking message when you call or I�ll be forced to stick my cordless up your nose.
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I am the Grim Reaper! Master of all that is |
